My Refuge and my Strength

God is my refuge and God is my strength and very present help in trouble. Therefore I will not fear though the earth be removed and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea.

Trust the Lord with this test. And this wedding in 3 months. And this marriage. It’s all in His hands; I can have Perfect Peace because my mind is stayed on Him and it’s all in His hands. ❤ Thank you Jesus

Lately, i’ve been feeling like my life is a whirlwind. I’m trying to prepare for my certification exam, and prepare for a wedding in 95 days. SO Much to do. I keep having to back out of commitments. I feel terrible, and then feel like I should be able to do everything if I just managed my time better. Honestly, maybe it’s just cause I’m tired, or because of all the illness and injuries that held me back… but I have been feeling defeated, like “I can’t!”.

But God has brought me to these things. I am blessed beyond measure… and He will give me the strength and tools I need to conquer this tests, and prepare a wedding. Help me, Lord to trust you with these things and to offer them to you, with open arms. I am yours. I know you are faithful.

It’s 95 days until my best friend and I are husband and wife. It’s been a time of transition for us, and we transition from long distance, boyfriend and girlfriend, to close proximity husband and wife. I think that we have realized that we have communication issues are an issue for us just recently because we are just private people (especially me). And we really have gotten to know eachother because of living in close proximity, and this is especially an issue for me. I was in a previous serious relationship where I shared my heart with someone, positive and negative, and then he dumped me. I don’t open up easily, and I decided if I ever was in another relationship, I would not share anything negative. I prefer not to talk sometimes, and that hurts my fiancé. Sometimes I share more with my mom and I think that upsets him because he wants to be the first one I go to. It’s so hard for me to share my full heart, even though I trust him. I don’t quite know why. When I am upset, I sometimes bottle things up and retreat and then share with my mom.

He talked about it w/ me tonight because we had an episode that upset him where I had a stressful day, he could tell, but I didn’t want to share, that he is concerned how this type of issue will impact our marriage and we need to be working on it, because we want a strong marriage. This will be hard since I don’t share easily and I spent the first part of the relationship deliberately doing the opposite, but we are committed to working on this. What was sweet, is I told him about the relationship with my exboyfriend and how it hurt my ability to be open since I was open and was rejected and already had a hard time sharing my heart, and he held my hand and told me that he is marrying me because he loves me and wants to know the whole me; the good and the bad, and to be a part of every part of my life; and it’s vital if we want to have a growing, viable, solid marriage. I guess since we were in a distance relationship, it was easy for us to not work on issues, but now they are in front of our faces… but we want to work on them because we love each other.  We have so much to learn. Being so open scares me and is not natural to me, yet I love and trust him.

We have so much joy about committing our lives to each other before the Lord… Our marriage is for the Lord. I’m trusting Him to make my story and our marriage beautiful and purposeful.

“Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus”

Collosians 3… lots of thoughts to reflect on later… :)

Colossians 3 The Message (MSG)

He Is Your Life

1-2 So if you’re serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don’t shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that’s where the action is. See things fromhis perspective.
3-4 Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you’ll show up, too—the real you, the glorious you. Meanwhile, be content with obscurity, like Christ.
5-8 And that means killing off everything connected with that way of death: sexual promiscuity, impurity, lust, doing whatever you feel like whenever you feel like it, and grabbing whatever attracts your fancy. That’s a life shaped by things and feelings instead of by God. It’s because of this kind of thing that God is about to explode in anger. It wasn’t long ago that you were doing all that stuff and not knowing any better. But you know better now, so make sure it’s all gone for good: bad temper, irritability, meanness, profanity, dirty talk.
9-11 Don’t lie to one another. You’re done with that old life. It’s like a filthy set of ill-fitting clothes you’ve stripped off and put in the fire. Now you’re dressed in a new wardrobe. Every item of your new way of life is custom-made by the Creator, with his label on it. All the old fashions are now obsolete. Words like Jewish and non-Jewish, religious and irreligious, insider and outsider, uncivilized and uncouth, slave and free, mean nothing. From now on everyone is defined by Christ, everyone is included in Christ.
12-14 So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.
15-17 Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.

Mom… and transition

I really think the whole little Lizzie girl becoming a grown married independent woman thing is gonna be an adjustment for my mom and for me… i overheard her talking on the phone to someone telling her how she is going to really have to readjust to me moving out and how she is sad since i was her constant companion especially since i was in a distance relationship and it’s hard that now i’m Richie’s companion more of the time, and hard when we go out a lot of nights with him and she is alone :(. And how she’s gonna feel empty after the wedding. And how she’s already trying to adjust to the thought of me being his husband by thinking “The Reihl’s are going out” when we go out at nights… without Mamma Wendy. I guess my mom and I have always been best friends (although we’ve had very weird controlling abusive rough patches, but we still love each other tremendously) and done stuff together all the time and i’m a homebody, plus she is kinda controlling and now it’s like i’m not around all the time and soon will move out. In some ways I was raised like an only child since my sister has a disability and I have a doting yet controlling mother. I was homeschooled, sheltered, and never lived on my own for more than a few months… Maybe that’s part of what the tension with us lately is about… maybe she is a scared… of losing her little (24 year old) girl? I guess maybe that seems imminent at this point.  last week before the injury was very tense in terms of extra controllingness and I wonder if this contributed. I love my mommy. I am attached to her too, and I think we are a bit codependent, and I think that Richie isn’t thrilled about that codependence piece since he wants to be the closest to me and be the one whose shoulder I cry on and who I tell my secrets too. He wants to be my everything and my one and only and number one. And I’ve told him that he is the most important person in my life now. My husband in 103 days. This is a real (Reihl 🙂 ) shift for my mom because that was her for so long, and now Richie is my closest friend and confidant. I am blessed to have my mom, but I hope we can develop a healthy, adult relationship…