Sometimes this makes me almost mad at others who are prettier than me. Why did God not give me those looks; that face; that body. If only I was more beautiful, life would be more beautiful. Life is so short compared to eternity. Does it really matter if I’m beautiful or thin??? NO freaking way! It makes no difference on my ability to bless or touch others at all!!! But the enemy throws it in my face that it’s everything to the point that it makes me insanely jealous of those I’m called to love. How sad.
It seems so shallow, but it’s just so deeply engrained in the human part of me. To want to be beautiful and more beautiful than. What if I truly cared more about my inner beauty; my quiet and gentle spirit than my outward beauty or lack thereof? What if I prayed that the Lord would nourish my quiet and reverent heart more than the time I listened to the enemy about my appearance? When I am so focused on my appearance, and hatred of it, I render myself and unusable and bitter tool. Only when I surrender am I free to love and to be used of the Lord. I need to fully let go and give this to the Lord.
My prayer to the Lord is that I will know this and live this with my full heart and full conviction.