Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand delivers me. The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands. (Psalm 138:7-8 ESV)
This morning as I lay here sick in bed, I have been recharging my spiritual battery a bit. This passage is such an encouragement and is a favorite of mine. It speaks of how the Lord has a purpose for His children and He loves us infinitely and will never leave us! How amazing is this in a world where there are seemingly infinitely trials that we face?
In a few days I am going to be embarking upon the next lap of my journey of occupational therapy school. Do I feel ready and eager? I can’t exactly say that I do. I have been relishing every minute of this break and still am! I am pretty academically burnt of from a first semester that was more challenging than my whole undergrad career combined. I am not ready… but I am going to walk into the door of this next semester tightly gripping the hand of the Lord who has guided me to the point that I now am on this journey.
The whole process has been one of faith and of trusting the Lord for the next step. I’m a bit embarrased to admit how ambivelent I was a little over a year ago when I decided to apply to graduate school. I still wasn’t at the stage of knowing what I wanted to be when I grew up; even though I was a few months away from being handed my undergraduate diplomma. As I approached winter break of my senior year, 2011, I suddenly realized that I was almost “Up!” To go to grad school right away or not was the question that had to be answered.
Since I wasn’t prepared to answer this question on my own, I decided that I would spend my break madly filling out applications, and would let the application process decide for me whether or not I would go to graduate school the next year. I had been told by people in the OT field that I would be a good fit for the profession and I knew that it encompassed many of my personal giftings and interests, so I decided to apply to OT school. I spent countless hours filling out forms, writing essays, mailing papers to seemingly endless addresses, making phone calls, going on interviews, and… wating.
Until… one day a letter came in the mail that had the logo of one of my top choice schools printed on the envelope. Tufts University. All of a sudden my heart leaped and I felt a wave of adrenalin overtake my body. This was it- my first letter containing an acceptance decision. And it was Tufts University! I carefully opened the envelope and read the words “Accept”… I was accepted!!!! I knew I was going to grad school. A few days later a similar letter was delivered to me from NYU. My second acceptance letter…
I received several other acceptance and wait list letters from the other schools to which I had applied over the next several weeks. I knew in my heart however that if I were to get into Kean University, the school where I did my undergrad, I would go there without second thought. I had chosen to get my bachelor’s degree at Kean because i was interested in their OT program. Kean had faculty with diverse areas of specialization, a less expensive tuition, and it was close enough to my home for me to commute- a big selling point as I had negative experiences in the past living on my own and didn’t think I was ready just yet to try again. I still hadn’t heard anything yet from Kean, except that other students had gotten in and I still hadn’t gotten an interview. How could they accept people without even glancing at my application yet? I knew that my chance at acceptance into my top choice school was getting slimmer. I finally did get an interview at Kean and couldn’t tell either way how it had gone.
I remember on the April day that I received the letter that would determine my future- it held in it the news of whether or not I had gotten into Kean University.My boyfriend was over that day and my mom told me that a letter had come for me. I just knew it was from Kean and my heart sort of dropped when I saw the thin envelope. When it comes to college acceptances letters, usually thin is not happy omen. I knew that it likely contained what I so didn’t want. a letter of rejection.
I ripped open the envelope quickly so as not to prolong the negative uncertainty. “Dear Elizabeth”, I read, “While we cannot offer you a seat in our program at this time, we have placed you on our waitlist”. I was sad, but yet there was yet a glimmer of hope. If God wanted me to go to Kean, then I would go to Kean! I knew though that I would need to make other plans in the mean time, so decided that I would go to Tufts, unless of course I was offered a seat in Kean’s OT program
A few days later I received a call accepting me into Kean’s program. Of course I was thrilled and my decision to go to Kean was final, but the whole process was really one of trust. If I had not gotten into Kean, I was willing to trust God and go to a different program where I would have to live away from home.
Looking back on my grad school journey thus far, I see that it’s been tiring, but has been a real journey of faith in which God has helped me in unlikely ways at the many times that it’s seemed that things wouldn’t work out. I am not ready to be thrown into semester 2, but I know that with God, I’m gonna make it through just like last time, because His hand has been on this journey. someday with His help, when I grow up, i will be an OT :)… and so much more!
The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.
… now… off to… read neuroscience… semester 2 of OT school here I come!
On a PCOS note, I’ve not been doing herbs as I’ve been sick, but as soon as I’m better i will resume those!