Mom… and transition

I really think the whole little Lizzie girl becoming a grown married independent woman thing is gonna be an adjustment for my mom and for me… i overheard her talking on the phone to someone telling her how she is going to really have to readjust to me moving out and how she is sad since i was her constant companion especially since i was in a distance relationship and it’s hard that now i’m Richie’s companion more of the time, and hard when we go out a lot of nights with him and she is alone :(. And how she’s gonna feel empty after the wedding. And how she’s already trying to adjust to the thought of me being his husband by thinking “The Reihl’s are going out” when we go out at nights… without Mamma Wendy. I guess my mom and I have always been best friends (although we’ve had very weird controlling abusive rough patches, but we still love each other tremendously) and done stuff together all the time and i’m a homebody, plus she is kinda controlling and now it’s like i’m not around all the time and soon will move out. In some ways I was raised like an only child since my sister has a disability and I have a doting yet controlling mother. I was homeschooled, sheltered, and never lived on my own for more than a few months… Maybe that’s part of what the tension with us lately is about… maybe she is a scared… of losing her little (24 year old) girl? I guess maybe that seems imminent at this point.  last week before the injury was very tense in terms of extra controllingness and I wonder if this contributed. I love my mommy. I am attached to her too, and I think we are a bit codependent, and I think that Richie isn’t thrilled about that codependence piece since he wants to be the closest to me and be the one whose shoulder I cry on and who I tell my secrets too. He wants to be my everything and my one and only and number one. And I’ve told him that he is the most important person in my life now. My husband in 103 days. This is a real (Reihl 🙂 ) shift for my mom because that was her for so long, and now Richie is my closest friend and confidant. I am blessed to have my mom, but I hope we can develop a healthy, adult relationship…

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