life pieces scattered

”I’m giving You fear and You give faith
I giving you doubt 
You give me grace
; For every step I’ve never been alone. 

Even when it hurts, You’ll have Your way
; Even in the valley I will say- 
With every breath, 
You’ve never let me go”

I am the type of person who likes to have the major pieces of my life puzzle in order. At this point in my life, they are so not in order. I am having a wedding in 5 months with the love of my life, but things are so not in order. And it’s not even about wedding details. It’s more like the life details!!! Some big pieces of our puzzle just aren’t in place. Some of these major things are where we will live (that depends on where and if my fiancé gets a job- we would like to start out in my area, but if he cannot find a job in my area, we will move to his area which is about 3 hours away from where I live). I need to finish grad school and pass my registry exam. Then I will have to find a job! Then there are lots of little wedding details to figure out. As a person who does not like stress and likes my life pieces in order, my puzzle is quite scattered right now!

Maybe it’s a time once again, to step back, and hand all of those pieces to the Lord and tell him, “do what you want with them”. Just like with anything else in my life… grad school, my eating disorder. He always surprises me with the result when I just surrender. When I give him my fear, He hands me faith, and He always gives me more grace. I have seen so many times the work of the Lord in my life… I know that truly He will protect my family if we surrender those puzzle pieces to Him. He will create a more beautiful picture, then I could have ever created. i remember when other things in my life seemed completely hopeless and then I handed those things to the Lord and He made something more beautiful than I could have imagined with them! God is a master at recycling trials and pains to bring us gain and to create beauty. My messed up relationship with my mother, my terrible relationship with food. What God has done in my life is as miracle. I know that He will do this again with what I’m concerned about now, and will continue to be faithful in the future. I’m trusting, and am so grateful for that reassurance.
It truly is so sweet and precious to be able to trust in Jesus and take Him at His word and rest upon His promise and know “thus saith the Lord”. Jesus Jesus how I truly you, how I’ve proved you over and over. Jesus, Jesus, Precious Jesus; Oh for Grace to trust Him More.






My lifelong favorite Hymn. I think I want that to be the song I walk down the aisle to at my wedding. the theme song of my life ❤


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